Perspective is the ability to step back from one’s self. And evaluate what you have from an outsider’s point of view and really see where you are. Quite literally one of the dictionary definitions of the word perspective is: “true understanding of the relative importance of things.” It’s the fact that realizing that everything is relative, that helps one see where one is truly at.
If I ask someone where they are and they are standing next to me, they might say, “I am here.” But that informs no one without context — but context is what a lot of people forget to include when they’re looking at their situation. It’s really easy to interpret a person’s physical presence from the word “here” because we naturally synthesize the information at our disposal: what we see, hear, feel, etc. in short: their entire environment.
But what a lot of people fail to do is to take synthesize all the things that affect them and take everything into account when the look at what they consider a bad situation. What’s even worse is when some people think they have all the information, and make decisions without thinking of what they might be missing, or things that they are taking for granted and not including in their decision making.
I find it useful to step outside myself, which means setting my personal feelings aside for a minute and looking at myself from what someone else might see. Just that act of looking at your actions or situation from what it must look like to someone that doesn’t understand everything you know helps tremendously. It clarifies and crystalizes things you might not even realize about your situation and even yourself.
So, the next time you find yourself in a crappy situation with someone, take a step back and look at it from a different perspective, and see if your situation is as bad as it seems. Often people I see complaining about what is essentially a problem that person created himself/herself, either out of thin air or by doing things to rub people the wrong way.
Another nice technique I use is to try to think of the best and worst possible outcomes to a situation. I then discard the outliers as extreme, and thus unlikely possibilities and find the middle. This sort of technique combined with an outsider’s perspective allows me to predict with pretty good accuracy what someone will do. This also allows me to come up with something to say that might change their course of action if I don’t see it as beneficial.
Sure that sounds extremely manipulative, but I promised myself a long time I would use my powers for good. So, if I use this technique on anyone, it’s to help them, not me.
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